Tamil Brahmin Wedding Customs & Rituals- South Indian Wedding Series

We all have been talking about a lot on bridal makeup, its time to know how marriages are performed in different parts of  the world. As I have stayed whole my  life in North India I had no idea about South Indian weddings and when I met Sandhya we thought of an idea to cover all the rituals and customs of various wedding in India and abroad .As Wise She is read by millions from different parts of the world it will come out as a beautiful platform to share wedding rituals 🙂 – Anamika

Wedding is that word which brings out a gamut of emotions. If you are the Bride or the Groom, it is a life changing experience; it is that giant leap to a completely unknown territory. If you are the cousin or a relative, it’s the season to dress up like there’s no tomorrow, it’s the season of fun and frolic! Also Read Malayalee Kerala Wedding Ceremony Rituals And Customs South Indian Wedding Series

All of us have been to weddings of different cultures and each are unique in their own way. In this series, I’ll try my best to cover South Indian Weddings. I wanted to start with my comfort zone, and so I chose Tamil Brahmin or Tam-brahm weddings as a starter.

Let me describe to you a typical Tamil Brahmin marriage that is celebrated in the Vedic style, where importance is given to the traditions and rituals which have been passed on over centuries.

Tam-Brahm marriages are traditionally fixed by the parents; the compatibility of the bride and groom is decided by comparison of their horoscopes which indicate the planetary positions at the time of their birth, and are said to predict their character accurately. Once the marriage is finalized, a small engagement ceremony is held, to solemnize the forthcoming marriage in the presence of witnesses.

Traditionally, this is a ceremony performed by the elders in the family, with the bride and groom, being spectators. They have no role to play here. The parents of the bride and groom decide the date of the marriage in the presence of the priest, with both the families watching.  The priest then reads out a Lagna Pathrigai, specifying the date, time and venue of the marriage and this serves as a sort of commitment for both families. The bride’s family brings fruits and sweetmeats and the groom’s people in turn serve snacks and dinner and present a sari to the bride. This ceremony is performed by the Groom’s side.

Kalyanam: Commencement of marriage ceremonies

The bride’s family arrives at the marriage venue or ‘kalyana-mandapam’ one day prior to the wedding. The venue is decorated with ‘kolams (attractive designs made with rice powder paste) and flowers.

In anticipation of the arrival of the groom and his family, the bride’s family keeps ‘chandanam’ (sandalwood paste), ‘kumkumam’ (vermilion), rose water, sugar candy, garlands and a platter for the ‘aarthi’ (traditional welcoming ritual). A vessel containing ‘thiraattupal’ (sweetened khoya) is also kept ready for the groom’s mother.

On the groom’s arrival the ‘nadaswaram’ (traditional instrument) is played and the ‘aarthi’ is performed in his honour.

Viratham: Ceremony observed to obtain blessings from departed elders

This is a ceremony performed separately by bride and groom’s side. The rituals followed for the groom are far more elaborate than those for the bride.

‘Charadu’ A Sacred yellow thread is tied on the wrists of the bride and groom and they are not permitted to leave the marriage venue. The ‘palika’ ceremony (sprinkling of nine varieties of grains) for the prosperity of the couple’s new life together is conducted simultaneously with the ‘viratham’.

To culminate the function, an ‘aarthi’ is performed.

Janavasam & Nischaiyartham: Inviting the groom to the ‘mandapam’

This is a very important aspect of the marriage where any differences between the families are sorted out. The ceremony traditionally takes place in a temple. The bride’s family brings turmeric, betel leaves, nuts and clothes for the groom. The bride’s brother then garlands the groom, and sugar candy is distributed to all present. The groom is then escorted to a decorated car and the family leaves in a procession for the ‘mandapam’.

Once the procession reaches the marriage venue, the bride is led outside by her close friends to get a glimpse of her future husband! ‘Aarthi’ is performed and a coconut broken to ward off evil. The groom is then led to the ‘medai’ (an elevated place in the ‘mandapam’ where all the ceremonies are performed). Members of both families sit opposite each other and a ‘lagna patrigai’ is written and read aloud by the ‘pujari’. ‘Thamboolams’ (platters of betel nuts, dry fruits, nuts, coconuts, turmeric and ‘kumkumam’) and gifts are exchanged.

The cone shaped ‘parupputhengai’ (a special sweetmeat) is an important part of all these ceremonies.

Wedding Arrangements:  Preparations for the actual wedding ceremony on the day of the wedding

Early morning on the day of the wedding, the bride’s family sends toiletries, a mirror, a basket filled with sweetmeats and a ‘nadaswaram’ to the groom’s family.  The priest usually ties the traditional ‘dhoti’ or ‘panchakatcham’ for the groom and apply ‘vibhuti’ or sacred ash in three horizontal lines on his forehead.

Kashi Yatra: The groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage